


Love Is For The Birds

by Jupiterra



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternative Universe - Zoo, Canada is a Goose, Cute, M/M, Not furry bait, bby goose, bird domestics?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-21
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-09-23 04:22:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20333995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jupiterra/pseuds/Jupiterra
Summary: Matthew the Canadian goose is gay. He gets a swan boyfriend.





	Love Is For The Birds

Jack was concerned. The Australian zoo keeper was genuinely flummoxed.

Matthew, the Canadian goose, was sulking in a corner of the shared pond, barely paddling about. He hadn't eaten in a while, over preening and being upset in general. The bird was barely considered exotic by Australian standards, but all the geese could perform. The massive bird display was tended to by two zoo keepers, mostly due to size. It was a mixed population by the gates, a hit with kids.

For seeds and bugs, the entire mixed flock was packed with performers. Ducks quacked and hopped. Swans flapped and sat near guests, gobbling up tasty food. Geese honked and splashed for attention. Everyone loved the interactive display.

Today one of three geese was not happy. Matthew only brooded and slowly starved.

A secondary caretaker for busier days, Elizabeth, walked over from another display. She was fiery fun just like Jack, a perfect fit to wrangle cranky animals. She had only been in Melbourne a few years, so her Hungarian accent was still entertainingly thick. “Jack, I have news on the goose.”

“What is it Liza?” He asked in curiosity, finally walking away from the enclosure.

“Matthew isn't sick.”

The news was relief. Jack smiled though not too hard, he still had a bandage on his face from a very vicious duck named Romano. “That's great news mate.”

“We have been coming up with theories in the vet's office. One of the stranger ones might be true this time.” She went on.

“Is it going to be expensive?” Oh Jack did not want to ask for more funds. He particularly liked his head being attached to his body.

“No. The girls think Matthew might be gay. He's been seen trying to court the male geese and swans on several occasions.”

Jack raised a brow in surprise. The idea had not come to him in the slightest, despite the fact that may bird species held same sex bonds. “How confident are you about this?”

The veteran bird keeper nodded, looking to her forlorn goose patient with seriousness. Matthew was still floating about, refusing to eat. “I'm certain. I've seen this in flamingos before. All classic signs of sexual frustration and loneliness.”

Jack grimaced at the thought of asking for more resources from his boss. It had to be done. Besides, if Matthew managed to get a boyfriend, publicity would be nuts. Jack had to at least try.

00000

Lars the Australian black swan paddled about his new environment. He seemed significantly calmer, a hissing biting monster in his carrier earlier. Against popular belief, swans were just as angry as any Canadian goose. Elizabeth still hurt from the many noisy nips the displaced bird delivered. Of course, there was concerns about the newcomer.

Lars was a rather small black swan. Matthew was a notably large Canadian goose, They were on par for size, but they weren't the right species at all. The swan had been a cheap attempt, a quick solution. It was donated from an animal sanctuary in Brisbane. Lars was a blatantly gay swan that had tried for love elsewhere with no success. One quarter of all black swans were typically gay part or full time. With the zoo budget stretched so thinly in the off season, there was little else to do.

The female zoo keeper looked on, praying the territorial birds didn't pluck each other senseless. An ill tempered Matthew approached the swan, miserable as ever. They both circled for a time, eyeing each other up. Finally their feathers settled. Both birds soon swam in peace.

Elizabeth dared to smile. Matthew was already waddling out of the water to approach zoo guests, his new playmate in tow.

00000

Jack was approached by the zoo director on another blazing summer day. It had been weeks now, and the once pitiful goose was now shiny and pleased. Director Kirkland approached, a busy man not afraid to wrangle with most critters. He perpetually resembled an old school safari guide, wearing four shades of khaki beige.

“I heard your bird exhibit is all straightened out.” The salty man greeted, wearing the barest hint of a smile. It was the happiest he was with human beings. Only the lion exhibit had earned his full affections, as he was an obsessed cat lover.

“Yes. They've been very cuddly, eating, swimming. Happy bird things, you can say.” Jack confirmed between sips of his chilled water.

“Broody and fucking like rabbits I heard.” the other replied casually, not a smooth man for communications.

Jack gave a chuckle. It was the truth after all. Matthew was very determined to knock up Lars, trying at all times of day. Lars wasn't far off the mark, attacking other birds and trying to warm their nests in hissing paternal domination.

“We've been approached by our New Zealand business partners. They want us to hatch endangered species of geese. It looks to be very profitable... the kids would love it. We could make a hatching count down of it. I need to know, though.” The boss paused, green eyes are sharp as his partial cockney accent. “Are Matthew and Lars good enough parents to pull this off? It would be a media nightmare if they pecked the babies to death.”

This was a realistic concern with birds, but unnecessary. The homosexual birds were approaching celebrity status on the internet. They always behaved, at least when they weren't having heaps of sex on the grass.

“I think it's great idea boss. When can we start?”

00000

Life as a goose was not complicated. You ate, you swam, you pooped. Sometimes you fought with other birds over the tastiest of the plants. Matthew was a very happy sweet goose, trailing behind his confusing coloured mate. He loved Lars, as much as geese could understand such things. He wanted to preen Lars's glossy dark coat. Matthew wanted to fly and swim with Lars.

Matthew wanted a family with Lars.

It wasn't for lack of trying. In his tiny circular thoughts, if he fucked Lars hard enough, eggs were sure to follow. Matthew didn't entirely understand the mental implications of gender. Sure, this approach was the most fun, but it lacked results. This was probably because Lars didn't lay eggs.

Smarty smart birds like them just had to improvise. They had stolen a duck nest, but it was... wrong. The nest was tiny and pathetic. They gave it up in minutes, displeased. They build their own nest out of reeds. It was grand, it was _fantastic_. It was painfully empty.

The couple didn't know what to do, and gorged on visitor's seed packs to comfort themselves. Oh surely by miracle of birdkind, they could have fluffy goslings of their very own! Matthew honked in protest upon return from food. 

Humans were in their empty nest! Instinct went on high alert. Lars and Matthew attacked in hissing tandem, long necks crooked from threat. The scavenger animal was prepared, with thick hide covered hands! They went for the leg hairs instead. Those oh so vulnerable leg hairs!

The human caretaker cursed but finished his task, fleeing after Lars bit him in the butt. Lars was the very _best_. After brushing against each other in impressed affection, they inspected the nest. Lo and behold, their attempts bore fruit.

Six lovely eggs were there! Testing each egg with their bills, the new parents claimed the site. Both knew the eggs were the right size, and very much alive. They would take turns warming the precious lives. They would raise the babies with the very best of intentions. Both large birds made raucous noise in announcement of their future babies. The stupid ducks ignored them rudely.

First step was raising a new flock in this partially enclosed pond area. Next step, Matthew and Lars were taking on the world!


End file.
